So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think I just sharted jello shots
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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