we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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