The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
