I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
one might say we're banned from that church
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize