You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
