walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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