Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
