p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
