I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize