It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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