i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
