just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Your penis caused this!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
