Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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