if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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