yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
