Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
