i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
