So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
