just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
