I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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