yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
