just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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