he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
