this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize