Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
