so explain again why im purple
no
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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