I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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