Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
