I want to have your abortion
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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