Ambien. No doubt about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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