The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
