He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
