i just google imaged poop.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
