feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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