youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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