Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
