One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
