whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They have beer where we have blood.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
