He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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