why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
