I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
