Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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