I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You left your phone here
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