the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
