JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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