Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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