found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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