Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
