We won't sleep together?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
