69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
