i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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