then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
