I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
