How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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