I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
