I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
