dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
