He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
