I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
