I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
