Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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