4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
